How do we define feeling? According to Merriam
Webster” Feeling mean a subjective response to a person, thing, or situation”. In
other words, a feeling is an emotional response or an emotional state or
reaction, whereas, the same dictionary defines Thinking as “the action of using
one's mind to produce thoughts”. In other words, whatever let you logical weigh
the pros and cons to come with a response can be result of thinking.
Interestingly, I have been brooding over these two human processes and their
application to human relationships. The way I conclude that that one is more
logical and is a result of using our brain that can be called ‘Thinking’,
whereas, the feelings are more subjective to the way we perceive and respond without
using our logical mind. In human relations, mostly we can not be so logical or
thinking to make decision upon pros and cons of a relationship. The feelings in
relationships are so important that results from constant interactions between
two individuals that probably transcends from thinking to feeling stage.
In the initial stages of relationships, we
think about other individual more logically and also act that way as what one should
wear or discuss when meet or interact with other person. One plans in a more
thoughtful way ahead of meeting to decide what to discuss, watch how other
person react, and or one contemplate what other person probably meant when
certain things were mentioned. Two individual watch each other’s body language,
verbal and non-verbal signals. In other words, the whole interaction is more logical,
analytical and well ‘thought’ of.
The next big step in a relationship occurs
when one overcome the logical way of analyzing other person and stop pretending
and be overly careful about choosing the right words. This process slowly
transcends into a ‘Feeling’ stage. Sometimes, unintentionally wrong words are
used, that rattle the other individual’s frame of mind from ‘Feelings’ to ‘Thinking’
and hence mentally re-analyzing the relationship. In other words, the
transformation from Thinking to Feeling is really the maturity of a
relationship.
Now how to sustain this ‘Feeling’ part in
the relationship to ensure that one does not get trapped into the Thinking side
of the relationship? Sometime human mind wonder and start questioning the ‘feeling’
side that makes ‘thinking’ side more active. If one is in love, this is not a
positive transition, no matter how temporary that is. Thinking results in
questioning that leads into misunderstanding or make other partner insecure in
the relationship. People tend to go from ‘feeling’ to ‘thinking’ stages
sometimes like pendulums that is detrimental in a relationship. One ought to have
unbreakable trust, belief, love for the other individual and avoid all such
logical ‘thinking’ incidents that come to mind unless there are strong reasons
for it which causes a relationship to break.
What are your thoughts on this subject?
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