Thursday, February 9, 2012

Feeling vs. Thinking in a relationship




How do we define feeling? According to Merriam Webster” Feeling mean a subjective response to a person, thing, or situation”. In other words, a feeling is an emotional response or an emotional state or reaction, whereas, the same dictionary defines Thinking as “the action of using one's mind to produce thoughts”. In other words, whatever let you logical weigh the pros and cons to come with a response can be result of thinking. Interestingly, I have been brooding over these two human processes and their application to human relationships. The way I conclude that that one is more logical and is a result of using our brain that can be called ‘Thinking’, whereas, the feelings are more subjective to the way we perceive and respond without using our logical mind. In human relations, mostly we can not be so logical or thinking to make decision upon pros and cons of a relationship. The feelings in relationships are so important that results from constant interactions between two individuals that probably transcends from thinking to feeling stage.

In the initial stages of relationships, we think about other individual more logically and also act that way as what one should wear or discuss when meet or interact with other person. One plans in a more thoughtful way ahead of meeting to decide what to discuss, watch how other person react, and or one contemplate what other person probably meant when certain things were mentioned. Two individual watch each other’s body language, verbal and non-verbal signals. In other words, the whole interaction is more logical, analytical and well ‘thought’ of.

The next big step in a relationship occurs when one overcome the logical way of analyzing other person and stop pretending and be overly careful about choosing the right words. This process slowly transcends into a ‘Feeling’ stage. Sometimes, unintentionally wrong words are used, that rattle the other individual’s frame of mind from ‘Feelings’ to ‘Thinking’ and hence mentally re-analyzing the relationship. In other words, the transformation from Thinking to Feeling is really the maturity of a relationship.

Now how to sustain this ‘Feeling’ part in the relationship to ensure that one does not get trapped into the Thinking side of the relationship? Sometime human mind wonder and start questioning the ‘feeling’ side that makes ‘thinking’ side more active. If one is in love, this is not a positive transition, no matter how temporary that is. Thinking results in questioning that leads into misunderstanding or make other partner insecure in the relationship. People tend to go from ‘feeling’ to ‘thinking’ stages sometimes like pendulums that is detrimental in a relationship. One ought to have unbreakable trust, belief, love for the other individual and avoid all such logical ‘thinking’ incidents that come to mind unless there are strong reasons for it which causes a relationship to break.

What are your thoughts on this subject?      

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